Grief During the Spring
Spring is a time of rebirth and renewal. Everywhere we look; new leaves and flowers are emerging to replace the drearier days of winter. People start going outside and the world just comes alive.
So why might this be difficult for a person who is grieving?
According to Catherine Hinz, “Because sunnier and warmer days do not simply wash away a person’s grief. In fact, sharing cultural feelings of hope and renewal in the spring can make a grieving person feel as though they are betraying the memory of a loved one.
The process of moving forward with grief takes time, and each person moves through grief at their own pace and according to their own timeline. A grieving person needs time to feel steady on their own two feet, and just like a newborn spring calf, they will wobble and feel shaky.”
What Can You Do to Support Yourself Through Seasonal Grief in Spring?
Nature gives us a guide for grieving. It shows us how to heal and be resilient.
- Take a walk outside to observe changes in nature. Feeling the warmth of the sun (or the cool mist of rain) on your face can be an emotional boost.
- If taking a walk seems overwhelming, just step outside for five minutes- to breathe the fresh air. Try closing your eyes and inhaling deeply and releasing your breath slowly and deeply. Just being outside can provide moments of relaxation and rest.
- Consider planting something in honor of your loved one. You can plan a memorial garden or just one plant.
- Spring can be a time for cleaning. Without telling yourself you should let go of your loved one’s belongings, you might want to choose one shelf or cupboard to reorganize or clean. The process of adapting to change after loss can take time and there is no need to hurry.
Learn more about seasonal grief: www.beyondwordsco.com/blog/seasonalgrief
We Are All Just Walking Each Other Home
From the podcast: End of Life University – Real talk about life and death (Dr Karen Wyatt, bestselling author of the books The Tao of Death and 7 Lessons for Living from the Dying) and Barbara Karnes, RN (Award Winning End of Life Educator, Award Winning Nurse, NHPCO Hospice Innovator Award Winner), a rich discussion on grief and bereavement.
Barbara Karnes, RN and Hospice Educator, joined Dr Karen Wyatt for a discussion on dying and death, sharing her personal experience as her husband’s caregiver during his illness with terminal cancer. She shared how it has increased her understanding as a hospice nurse and educator, regarding support patients and caregivers may need during this time. (Research has shown that what is clinically termed “anticipatory grief” for some people, is a normal aspect of the overall grieving process with emotions including shame, isolation, sadness, anger, fear, and guilt.
Karnes shared that, following the death of her partner of 56 years, one of the biggest challenges she has experienced is “learning how to live alone”, a theme often explored by members of our ALS bereavement community. Karnes notes that hospice and bereavement professionals need to extend multiple outreach contacts, offering gentle, practical support (think grocery shopping, laundry, dog walking, yard care, housework, which can reduce the feelings of “overwhelm” during caretaking and following the death.
Karnes also shared a question she asks of herself , “how do I go on living after the death and simultaneously, continue to hold space for the life I had” noting that especially during the first months following the death of her husband, she discovered that she needed a lot of time to “grieve alone”, while still desiring close communication with family and friends. She experienced that conversation was most helpful when related to “normal life.” Karnes encouraged hospice and care professionals to reach out to grievers on a regular basis, gently offering practical support, as desired.
As Bereavement Services Coordinator with ALS Northwest, it is my privilege to walk beside members of this diverse community, learning from you, how bereavement support will be unique to everyone.
Note: Walking Each Other Home, a book written by Ram Dass and Mirabai Bush, offers readers insights of hope, compassion, and interconnectedness during life and death. The quote, “we’re all just walking each other home” reminds us that we are not alone on our journey, and that every interaction is an opportunity to help ourselves and others.
ALS Northwest Drop-In Bereavement Groups
ALS Northwest offers two “drop-in” bereavement support groups* for adults who have lost a loved one to ALS:
- Virtual Bereavement Support Group: 3rd Wednesdays, 5 – 6 pm, Zoom
- In-Person Bereavement Support: 2nd Thursdays, 1 – 2 pm, Lake Oswego Adult Community Center, 505 G Avenue, Lake Oswego, Oregon
*These groups are facilitated by Rebekah Albert, Bereavement Support Coordinator. Please contact Rebekah for more information Rebekah.Albert@alsnorthwest.org or 503-573-8823
In addition to bereavement support provided by ALS Northwest, organizations in Salem and Eugene* offer a variety of resources for people coping with loss and grief. You can check these by opening links or calling providers provided below. These resources provide options for individuals seeking support in their grief journeys, including grief therapy, peer support, or creative expression.
Salem Area Grief Support
- Willamette Vital Health – 1-503-588-3600
- Santiam Hospital and Clinics – 1-503-588-3600
- Salem, Oregon GriefShare Groups
Eugene Area Grief Support
- PeaceHealth – 1-458-205-7400
- Offers bereavement services including grief counseling and support for PeaceHealth patients, loved ones, and the community. They also provide sliding fees based on family size and income.
- Center for Community Counseling – 1-541- 344-0620
- Provides support groups for grief, grandparent’s group, and other bereavement-related support.
- Cascade Health Hospice – 1-541-228-3050
- Provides grief support services throughout the hospice and beyond, including individual counseling, grief education, and support groups. They offer various formats to fit individual preferences and connect bereaved family members with others who understand their feelings.
*This listing is not comprehensive.