Support for Grief During the Winter Holidays
Depending on who you talk to, there are differing opinions about the winter holidays. For people living with ALS and for those who have lost someone to ALS, these occasions can bring their own set of challenges, both physical and emotional. But this season can still provide times of comfort, even as you are grieving, and times that are different than years past.
It can help to ask trusted family members and friends for support during this time. Below are some examples of requests you might wish to make to those around you.
- Accept my need to talk about “normal things” at times, instead of my loved one who has recently died.
- Avoid giving me advice. Understand that right now, I just need your presence.
- Do not try to “cheer me up.” Just accept my grief as the normal process it is.
- Please offer some practical help, such as running an errand, providing a meal, or going for a walk.
- Please be patient; help me to accept this process will take “as long as it takes.”
As you navigate during this holiday season and into the New Year, you can help yourself by remembering that there is no set length of time for “normal grief.”
For a love which is deep and strong, it will take a significant amount of time to become accustomed to loving them without their presence in your life. One thing you can depend on is that grief changes. It will soften, even though your love will never fade. But for now, the most important thing to remember is to be kind to yourself and ask for support from those you’re close to.
Most people have not been taught how to support those who are grieving, so some significant others in your life may not know what to say or do to support you.
ALS Northwest Drop-In Bereavement Groups
ALS Northwest offers two “drop-in” bereavement support groups* for adults who have lost a loved one to ALS:
- Virtual Bereavement Support Group: 3rd Wednesdays, 5 – 6 pm, Zoom
- In-Person Bereavement Support: 2nd Thursdays, 1 – 2 pm, Lake Oswego Adult Community Center, 505 G Avenue, Lake Oswego, Oregon
*These groups are organized and facilitated by Rebekah Albert, Bereavement Support Coordinator. Please contact Rebekah for more information: Rebekah.Albert@alsnorthwest.org or 503-573-8823.
Bereavement Support Resources – Central Oregon
Central Oregon offers a variety of grief support groups and resources for individuals coping with loss and grief. You can check on these by opening the links or calling phone numbers provided below. These resources provide a range of options for individuals seeking support in their grief journey, whether through structured programs, peer support, or creative expression.
Note: This listing is not comprehensive.
- Community Events (Good Grief Guidance) – 1-541-223-9955
- Central Oregon Bereavement Support (Hospice of Redmond) – 1-541- 548-7483
- Offers bereavement support groups, a resource library, and a camp for children who have experienced the death of a loved one. They also provide volunteer-supported programs and a Quilters Club for bereaved family members.
- The Importance of Grief Support (Partners in Care) – 1-541-777-2262
- Offers compassionate grief services, including personalized grief counseling, support groups, and classes. They provide opportunities for family members to share and connect with others experiencing loss.
- Grief Support and Bereavement Care for You and Your Loved Ones (Cascade Health Hospice) – 1-541-228-3050
- Provides grief support services throughout the hospice and beyond, including individual counseling, grief education, and support groups. They offer various formats to fit individual preferences and connect bereaved family members with others who understand their feelings.
A Poem on Grief
The following poem was recently shared by a member of our virtual support group. The power of the bereavement support groups is what members bring to the group. This piece captures the essence of what grievers need to remember, especially during the holiday season. As always, I wish you peace and healing.
Grief isn’t something we go through once.
It passes through us.
Like waves,
Many times,
In different ways.
There’s no right way to feel,
No way to fail or succeed,
And no time limit.
May you be gentle with yourself
And give yourself permission
To feel anything and everything,
Knowing you are supported
And cared for…
Always.
—Anon.
Sincerely,
Rebekah Albert
Bereavement Services Coordinator